"Take Me Out"

     This week's column is dedicated to the guys who, in this day and age, still ask girls out on dates. You are my heroes, and you give me hope. Seriously, I don't understand why guys ever stopped doing this. When did calling a girl up and asking her out on a date turn into a Facebook post saying, "You. Me. Party tonight." Guys asking girls to "hang out" is no better. That is not considered a date, just so we're clear, so let's not even act like that's acceptable either. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with guys and girls just "hanging out" or going to parties together, but it has made our generation settle. Most girls my age, seventeen, have never been asked on a date, because most guys my age have never asked a girl out on a date.
      Yet still, I can't tell you how many guys complain about being "friend zoned." For reference, the friend zone is a place both guys and girls--just for the record--get stuck in when they become friends with someone of the opposite sex but can never turn their friendship into a relationship. The truth is, most of you are stuck in the friend zone because you never did anything about it. Did you ever ask her out on a date? That's what I thought. You see, if someone were to ask me to be their girlfriend, I'd probably pretend I didn't hear him and that my name was called from the other room as I excuse myself and avoid you for a few days. But if someone were to ask me out on a date, as in, "I'd like to take you out on a date some time. What do you say?" Well I say yes, as long as you're a nice guy, what do you have to lose?
      Or there's always the "I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now," which, by the way, is totally plausible, because some of us may be enjoying independence. Guys always think girls are complicated, but not all of us are schemers; some of us actually say what we mean and mean what we say. Don't over analyze everything, fellas, that's our unnecessary job.
     Anyway, back on track: it's just a date. It's two people spending an evening or afternoon together. Dates aren't just for boyfriends and girlfriends. They are for gentlemen and ladies, who may be friends or acquaintances, who enjoy each other's company or want to get to know each other better. The bottom line is, if you are looking to flatter a girl or make her feel special, ask if you may take her out on a date. Trust me, she'll say yes. You're welcome.
Always, Anna

Define Yourself

Life is full of defining moments. Holding your first niece, nephew, or grandchild. Giving birth yourself (not sure if I will ever be ready for that, but, you know, for some people...). Saying, "No." Saying, "Yes." Losing a pet. Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Changing someone's life. Saving someone's life. Getting married. Realizing you are the kind of person you've always wanted to be. Meeting your role model. Finding true happiness. Reading the acceptance letter from your first-choice college. Moving out of your parents' house. Graduating. "Finding Jesus." The death of a loved one. The conversation you have with your best friend about cancer. The first time you stand up for yourself. The first time you stand up for someone else.

The moments that define us the most are the ones in which we make our own decisions. Growing up, parents, siblings, and friends influence most of our decisions. We don't want to disappoint anyone, or other times we don't want to do what is expected of us. I've always found, in the end, that we have to make our own decisions, and in the least selfish way, worry about ourselves. It's kind and considerate to take others' feelings into account, but we can't live the life someone else thinks we should. We are our own people, and there's a reason we were all given free agency. 

The day I started making my own decisions based on the life I wanted for myself has been my biggest defining moment so far. Every day since, I've been a much happier person. The best way I can think to explain it is, if you do something you hate just because you think it will make your parents proud or make you more popular, even if it achieves those purposes, does it make your life any less miserable as you do it? What if you do what you love simply because it brings you happiness--does it matter anymore if your parents are proud or how many friends you have? All that truly matters is that you are happy with yourself. Inner peace will come not from anyone else's approval, but instead from doing what you believe is right, getting to know yourself, and making your own choices based on whose beliefs and values? That's right: YOURS. You will never be able to make everyone happy, so why sacrifice your own well-being in the hopes of some one else's contention? There is no excuse or sense in letting someone who is not you dictate your life. Take advantage of those defining moments. Listen to your own voice and opinion. Realize that the choices you make today will affect your own life years down the road, not your friends'. Do what scares you, do what makes you happy, but most of all, do what you want. Be self-motivated. The biggest mistake you can make is to let other's tell you who you are. Be real and be you. Define yourself.

Always, Anna

Charlie, Third Edition.

As promised, no more sidetracks. This week’s column is dedicated to Charlie Richter and his impact on irrigation in North Dakota.
He first got involved with water irrigation in 1960. He became a director for Garrison Diversion in 1969 and served as director up until January 1st, when he resigned from the board of directors. There were struggles from the beginning, as he recalls a 15-year-long period when North Dakota was “pretty near flooded,” and a time before the western part of the state even had decent drinking water. Charlie could tell you anything you need to know about irrigation, the Missouri River, or basically all things water-related. “Someday in your lifetime, you’re gonna realize water is a very precious commodity. Without water, the human being can only live about 6 or 7 days. With that in mind, we have to take care of it and see that it is distributed for the state of North Dakota. This is what I fought for since 1968,” he told me.
“That’s what he believed in forever, and always will,” said his son, Carter Richter. Yet, when asked about any triumphs he has had over the years, Charlie humbly says,
“Seems like I’ve had very few of those.” I beg to differ. I asked him about all the traveling he had to do, mostly to Washington, D.C. “I got to know my way around the Halls of Justice pretty well,” he said. I have only seen a few people in my lifetime who are as passionate about anything as Charlie is, and apparently always has been, as he would much rather talk about North Dakota and Eddy County’s need for water and irrigation than any traveling he got to do (coast to coast), or awards and recognition he has gotten (the Water Wheel Award, and the Comodore Award, to name a few).
He was, however, keen on talking about the wonderful people he got to meet and get to know over the years. “I’ve enjoyed working with the people immensely, you can’t beat it. They were all farmers at heart. We had a lot of fond memories from some mighty fine people.” There was a going away/retirement party of sorts held for Charlie in December. Some of the old directors came to wish him well, which he really appreciated because it is almost unheard of, and all the Carrington staff was there as well. “Good, good people,” as Charlie described them.
As for the future of irrigation in North Dakota, Charlie continues to believe in the dream of getting water for irrigation all across the state. After serving the longest term in history on the board, he has nothing but high hopes and confidence in it. “We can’t look back, we gotta keep looking ahead.”
Always, Anna

Charlie Continued..

Last week, I started telling you about my visit with Charlie and Neola Richter. There’s no way I will be able to do the man and his story justice, but it needs to be shared nevertheless.
Charlie graduated from New Rockford High School in 1945 and joined the Marine Corps in 1946. He wanted to go to college, but they were still drafting at the time, and one of his buddies convinced him. After being stationed in California for two years, he could either sign up for four more years or take a discharge. He took the discharge and got married to Neola in 1950. “She’s never thought of divorcing me, but she has said murder occasionally,” said Charlie as they both laughed. At this point, Neola came over to explain.
“We’ve been married a long time, sixty-three years on October 1st. We’ve been lucky, how many couples get up to sixty-three years? We have a big family.” They raised their seven kids in New Rockford, moving between their farm house and town house every summer. In 1952, Charlie’s father passed away, leaving him the farm.
“I’ve been scratching ever since,” said Charlie. “There are a lot of things that you don’t understand until you farm. You’re trying to scratch a living out of the ground, and Mother Nature hails you out, but you always go back for more.” Besides farming, Charlie drove across the country as a semi driver for fourteen years. He has been in every state except Hawaii and Alaska. “There’s a lot of country out there,” he said, speaking of his love for travel despite the fact that they have always stayed in North Dakota. Neola added that she doesn’t mind the traveling, “as long as you’re home by sun down.”
We talked about traveling a bit more, and when I told them I would be going to college in Idaho, Charlie excused himself for a minute and came back with a huge atlas—the one he used as a truck driver. He showed me Idaho’s page and the route he took, pointing out Rexburg, the town I will be moving to, and telling me about the dam that broke there in 1976. He told me I will have to check out the whole museum they have dedicated to it, because every time he tried to visit it on his way through Idaho, it was closed. I promised I would, and also that I would take pictures and bring them back when I visit next year.
Once again, I am out of word space this week. Next week, I promise—pinky promise—that I will finally cover the reason I spoke with Charlie in the first place. But seriously, if you have never gotten sidetracked while spending an evening talking to your grandparents or, in this case, someone else’s, I highly recommend it. You never know what little things you will be amazed to learn from them.
Always, Anna

Charlie Richter

If you have been around New Rockford for even a day or two, there is a good chance you know who Charlie Richter is. If you somehow do not, allow me to introduce one of the most amazing men I have ever met. I had both the pleasure and honor of visiting him and his wife, Neola, in their beautiful home last week—and let me just say, if you don’t know Neola, or “Oley” as her old friends called her, even your grandmother’s apple pie has nothing on her sweetness.
As most of you know, I waitress at the Rockford Café. On Monday night, Mary Richter, the owner/my boss, was telling me about her father-in-law, Charlie, resigning from his 44-year-long position as the Garrison Diversion Board Director. That sounds like an incredible story of dedication, I thought, and to something I know virtually nothing about. If there are two things I love, they are learning and interviewing people—and interviewing people always leads to learning, especially in this case. I asked for the Richters’ phone number and called the next evening. I spoke to Neola and asked if I could come over later in the week to speak to Charlie, and she invited me over to their house that night. I was a little nervous, I hadn’t had my questions completely thought through and I didn’t want to seem ignorant or dim.
Neola let me in and explained she was worried I wouldn’t know where their new house was; Charlie and Neola had lived in the same house on Central Avenue for sixty-one years before building a new house a few blocks away last year. Charlie greeted me with a warm smile and when Neola suggested we sit at the table for the interview he laughed and asked “Why do you want to talk to me anyway?” I set up my laptop and voice recorder on my phone, which he found quite amusing, opening one of the greatest conversations I have ever had.
Sorry to leave you on that cliff-hanger, but I couldn’t possibly include such a story in one article, when I am already running over on my word limit! Next week, we will learn more about Charlie Richter and the impact you may not be familiar with from this dedicated legend.
Always, Anna

Oh, What is Love?

You all knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time before a teenager column had to address love. Or, you know, whatever it is we teenagers interpret as love. I’ve got to say, I’m not a huge fan. Sure, it’s all rainbows and sunsets when you’re feeling “in love.” The rest of the time, though, not so much. Don’t get me wrong, I will be the very first person to give someone a good talking-to if I hear the term “forever alone” uttered out of a fifteen-year-old’s mouth. To all the people who told me “Happy ‘Singles Awareness Day!’” on Valentine’s Day, I spared you out of the goodness of my heart, but next time, don’t count on getting away with that—and by the way, you’re not really helping your case.
When I was younger and looked up to my older sisters in high school, I genuinely believed that in high school, you had to have a boyfriend. I honestly thought it was a requirement, a high school-boyfriend package deal. I’m actually serious; you’ve got to feel bad for Little Anna here, she was quite apprehensive. As a senior now, I am here to tell you it’s absolutely not necessary to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If you are, aren’t, were, or have never been in a relationship, it’s all right! Everybody has their own experiences to learn and grow from, and they don’t all involve dating. Don’t feel like a loser if you have never been kissed, chances are you can use that to your favor as most people will think that is adorable—not that I encourage you to be a con artist or anything. What I mean is, I promise, it does not matter an ounce what others think; just do you.
My last bit is on unrequited affection. All I’m saying is we shouldn’t be capable of having feelings for somebody when they don’t feel the same way, and vice versa. So many problems would be solved! We wouldn’t have to deal with crushes, heartbreaks, or awkwardly and guiltily turning people down. I don’t know, I think I’m on to something here! I’ll work on this theory. Meanwhile, try to stay young and in “like” or whatever it is you’re in or not in. I don’t know. My head hurts. Feelings.
Always, Anna

Honesty

As we grow older, we stop doing a lot of things. We stop throwing temper tantrums, going trick-or-treating, coloring on the walls with crayons, making forts, and watching cartoons…well, some of us. We also stop being honest. I miss being the age where we were bluntly honest all the time, simply because we didn’t understand the concept of lying or keeping things to ourselves. Imagine if we all told the truth all the time. I can’t decide if it would make life simpler or more complicated, to be honest (no pun intended.)
The other night, when I was babysitting my nephew, we were talking about when I go off to college in the fall. I asked him if he was going to miss me, and he said, “I don’t know yet.” I laughed and thanked him for his honesty, which I then explained is telling the truth, even if it might not be what someone wants to hear. To that, he just shrugged and said, “Well, I really don’t know how long it will take to miss you.” I love that logical reasoning. It’s so clear to them, and why shouldn’t they be honest? It never runs through their head to consider the other person’s reaction to what they are about to say—unless it’s when they are asking for something. Almost any time my nephew asks me for something, he adds, “I know you’re gonna say no.” I guess that tells you what kind of an aunt I am! Oh well. He’s going to miss me, although we’re still not sure when.
Always, Anna

Awkward Acquaintances

I am writing from my hotel room in Washington, D.C. For the last few days, I have been here for a leadership conference as the North Dakota State National Honor Society President. It has been an absolutely incredible experience, and I have met so many people. Upon these meetings, I’ve realized a few habits common with awkward acquaintances.
It’s funny the way we suddenly become very, painfully aware of what we say when we are around people we have just met. This doesn’t mean everything I say is well thought out, just that while and after I speak, I analyze my voice, infliction, vocabulary, and wording way more than usual. Basically, according to my observations, everything a new acquaintance tells me is either “crazy,” “nuts,” “insane,” “hilarious” or “so funny.” Ironically, rarely does anything they say fall under any of those categories. Yet those are the lines that I automatically respond with, no matter what.
Why are new acquaintances constantly telling stories, anyway? I seriously doubt that it’s to listen to me assure them in a monotone, robotic voice, with a sad attempt at an impressed or shocked face, “No way. You read the book before you saw the movie? You are so crazy! Like, really, that’s insane,” or “You don’t match your socks? That’s hilarious! Seriously, you’re nuts. That’s so funny.” These are the phrases I say, people! Before you judge me, you should know that I have been hearing the same exact sentences from everyone else here, so I know I’m not the only one!
Unfortunately, it’s either automatic phrases or word vomit. You know the kind. I’m talking hard-core babbling. Motor-mouth word flow. I physically cannot control my talking and its high speed. My thoughts come straight out of my mouth at the very second I think them, and I mean the ones that you normally keep to yourself, for good reasons. I won’t give you any direct quotes on these episodes—I’ve got to keep a little bit of dignity! Hopefully your speaking skills are much better than mine. If not, at least you have been warned, should you ever talk to me in person. It will be crazy, nuts, insane, hilarious, and so funny, I’m sure.
Always, Anna

MLK, Jr.

There are few men I love as much as I love Martin Luther King, Jr. My favorite quote of his is, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” I have never been more captivated by a dream than I have always been by his. In some ways, society has come a long way. Racism has not disappeared, but segregation, for the most part, has. Unfortunately, these days there seems to be a different kind of segregation, though.
Every day, I see people treating others differently, not because of their skin color necessarily, but because of their social ranking, and it is so wrong. In my eyes, the cool kids are not those who wear the right clothes or go to parties on the weekends. I could not possibly care any less about that. I care about the way people treat me and everyone else, and that is what I will always remember about a person. It doesn’t matter who you are, or who your friends are; there is nothing that makes you superior to anyone else. The fact that some people are driven to believe they are not good enough just because some kid treated them that way truly breaks my heart. In order for MLK’s dream to truly come true, equality for every person is absolutely necessary.
I encourage everybody to build someone up in one way or another every day. We all harness the ability to make someone’s day by simply treating them like they mean something to the world. Can you remember the last compliment you offered or received? The last insult? We should be as kind as possible to people every opportunity we get. Never underestimate the power of a smile and start off today with a random act of kindness. Look at you; you’re already making the world a better place.
Always, Anna

Hi. I'm Anna.

This is a small town, I know, but I think I should still introduce myself, for the sake of manners. My name is Anna Rose Smith, and I’m a senior at New Rockford-Sheyenne High School. I have moved around a lot growing up, living in Virginia, Idaho, Colorado, and North Dakota after being born in California. In the fall, I will be back in Idaho for college at Brigham Young University-Idaho (BYU-I). Many of you probably know me as your waitress at the Rockford Café, or have seen me making drinks at the Latté Lobby. Perhaps you have witnessed my flute and me in the school’s band and choir concerts, playing and singing. I’ve also been teaching myself to play the guitar for a little while now, but you wouldn’t want to hear that. I’m borderline obsessive when it comes to certain things, like England and Taylor Swift (don’t judge). I enjoy reading, singing, laughing, and writing (didn’t see that coming, did you?). I also love the beautiful season of fall, Christmas spirit, random acts of kindness, long walks, dogs, and especially long walks with dogs. I would consider listing some of my favorite things, as that usually helps me get an idea of people, but I’m odd in the way I don’t have a lot of favorites. I am starting this column to share the thoughts and views of the somewhat average teenage girl. That might not sound very appealing to you, but if you read my columns, I think you may come to find I sound a lot more like your mother, aunt, or grandmother than a teenage girl, so whichever you prefer! From now on, I’ll talk far less about myself, I promise.
Always, Anna