Love, Actually

No, not the movie--although that is one of my favorites. Probably my very favorite, actually.

But  no, this is just about love, actually. I'm only eighteen, and I'm not exactly an expert on the subject, but I've seen enough to draw some conclusions about the matter.

So here are the three most important concepts I've observed about the love I've seen around me.

1. It's not really that complicated.

Everyone tries to complicate it, and I understand that there can be complex situations, but love itself should be simple and easy. I really believe that's how it's supposed to be, and I've seen it that way. 

2. Nobody is too young to know what love is.

There are different types of love, and young love is one of them. Children can know what love is by watching their parents, or someone else's if you're like me. And teenagers can be sooooo....stupid. But they can also be in love. Albeit a young, dumb, naive love--totally different from the love shared by, say, an elderly couple--it's a love just the same. 

3. It's weird.

It may be simple and easy at its finest, but sometimes it just doesn't make sense. It makes you feel weird things and do weird things and, most of all, say the weirdest things. Like, "I love you." It's weird. But that's one of it's greatest qualities, right?

So I've come up with an eclectic definition of the word after all I've seen and experienced of it. It's everywhere.

I see it in the way kids run to their parents when they get home. I look for it in the way parents watch their children when you hold and play with them. I hear it in Taylor Swift and Elton John songs. I listen for it when best friends laugh together. I smell it in gingerbread in the winter, flowers in the spring, cotton candy in the summer, and pumpkin in the fall. I taste it in hot chocolate on a cold day. I feel it in a blanket put on me when I've fallen asleep on the couch. 

Because love is in so much more than we give it credit for. It's in the little acts of kindness. Doing things for others when no one asks you to, for no reason other than love. Cooking for someone when you hate cooking (and really have no business doing it because you're that terrible at it). 

Love, I've been told and I'm learning, is putting someone else's needs and wants before your own. It's about putting up with someone's stubbornness, moodiness, craziness, etc. because, well, you love them anyway. It's still being amazed by someone every time you see them, even if that's every day. It's telling someone they are beautiful when they feel they are at their worst--and meaning it. It's doing the most embarrassing things just to see your favorite smile on their face. It's caring deeply about someone, even yourself--especially yourself, actually. 

Don't forget to love yourself, too, because I mean, hello! Youda best! So have a cookie on me--and have yourself a merry little Christmas filled with blessings, service, joy, and a little love while you're at it.

Always,
Anna

Farewell to the Rockford Cafe

The day I never thought would actually has come. In a few days, I will be off to Idaho for college. In fact, by the time you read this, I will have attended at least my first college class. It’s honestly the strangest thing. Yesterday was another day I never thought would come: after three years, and four summers, my last day working at the Rockford Café.

            Three years ago, the summer of 2010, a few weeks before my sophomore year in high school, I had been eating dinner at the café with my good friend, Bret. Bret’s sister, Lexi, had been waitressing while she was home for summer, but had to go back to college soon. She jokingly suggested Mary should hire me, and what do you know, a few days later I walked in for my first day of washing dishes. The rest is history! I fell in love with every single one of my “café ladies” and their husbands. They’re not just “people I work with.” They’re my aunts, my uncles, my best friends. They’re my family.

            Walking in that August day as a fifteen-year-old, I didn’t expect any of this. It was my first job, and I thought that was all it would be. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The ladies who cook and serve you breakfast, lunch, and dinner—I mean breakfast, dinner, and supper…right?—are some of the sweetest, most caring, giving, genuine, loving, selfless people I know and will ever know. They taught me how to work hard, bite my tongue, be kind to everyone, serve others, and loosen up—not to mention how to brew coffee, peel potatoes, and “give the floor a good scrubbing.” Since day one, they have looked out for me in and out of the restaurant. They sewed my prom dresses and coats and put on my graduation open house. They had long talks with me about boys, traveling, and my dreams for the future. They put up with me for 6-10 hour shifts. But, let’s be honest. Most importantly and impressively, they learned how to decipher my handwriting.

            So I guess you could say my last day was a little difficult. My sweet regulars remembered it was my last day and wished me luck and safe travels, but besides that, it was like any other workday. Except for when I looked at the phone, and I remembered the first night I got a prank call from Kenny Ames for a sixty-something-piece chicken basket to be left by the back door two hours after closing time…and the time Leonard Kaul called for a “Schwaberry Milkshake” from the booth across the room. Every time I looked at the sweets table, I remembered the first time I came in for a caramel roll and chocolate milk when I was ten years old. And every time I picked up the dishes tub, I remembered the time I dropped it, full of dishes. What? Ok, moving on…

As I logged in my time card for the last time, I said goodbye to the greatest pair of sisters I know: Lucy and Mary. Mary shook her head, and with a wink, told me, “You’ll be back.” I walked out the back door and looked over my shoulder for the last time. I was surprised and at the same time unsurprised to realize I was crying. I’m going to miss that sweet, small-town, home-cooking café, where I waited on my first table, ate my first BLT, and became part of the Rockford Café family. Thank you to everybody who made me feel like a member of their family at the café, whether I got the honor of working with you or simply taking your order. By the way, Mary, I expect this column to be framed on the wall the next time I’m home! Also, I could have written about my experience at the Taylor Swift concert this week, so you REALLY know I love you all. See you next year.

Always, Anna

Choices with Attitude, Life, and Shameless Daytime Napping

            This morning, we all woke up with a choice. I decided, as I do every day, from the minute I woke up—or within the first five minutes, after I was thinking clearly and processing actual thoughts—that today was going to be a good day. Possibly even great. Nothing has been out of the ordinary or unexpectedly magnificent, but it definitely hasn’t been a bad day. This doesn’t mean a few unfortunate events haven’t happened, but I had decided from the start that this would and could not be a bad day, no matter what happened. We all have that choice every single day; it’s honestly all up to us.

Here’s the secret to having a good day every single day: attitude. As you have probably heard before, attitude really is everything. Our attitudes dictate our choices and how we react to the consequences of them. We decide how our days—and even lives—go with the choices we make and the attitudes we have.

            I know this might sound like nonsense, but I promise if you consciously tell yourself every morning that your day will be a good day, it will be. Even if “bad” things happen to you, you’ll have a great attitude and be able to handle them. Attitude can help you realize it’s still a good day for so many more reasons than it could possibly a bad day. All too often, I see people who have something, admittedly less than desirable, happen to them, and choose to let it ruin their whole day. How sad is that?! Choose to fix it, or laugh, or if you can’t do either of those, let it go! Don’t let it spoil a whole 24 hours! Smile constantly—not in the creepy way, but in the positive, happy, friendly way. It will catch on to those around you and you’ll all enjoy an overall happier environment as a result. I promise, this really works—I’m telling you from experience.

            Recently, I had a long talk with one of my uncles about life—yeah, one of those three hour, philosophical conversations in which you cover just about everything the world has to discuss. During this talk, we reached the conclusion that while attitude is everything, life is also all about CHOICES. Each and every one of us is where we are today because of choices we, or, in some cases, others made. It may be difficult to see directly, but think back. Warning: this may require you to take some responsibility.

For example: this afternoon, I was five minutes late for work. (I know I promised I wasn’t going to be late for anything any longer, I’m sorry! I hope you’re not super disappointed in me!) I had an excuse, kind of, but even with that, I was in this situation because of choices I made. I made the choice to go to bed really late last night because I had made the choice to procrastinate packing for college. Then I made the choice to get up really early this morning to go for a sunrise jog. After that, I made the choice to take a nap, for which I made the choice not to set an alarm, turning it from a twenty-minute-nap to a two-and-a-half-hour nap. Because of all these choices, I was late! I actually, ultimately, made the choice to be late. I’m not proud of it, but I’m taking responsibility for being irresponsible. Oh, dear, is this making any sense?

            The bottom line is, we’ve got to stop making excuses and accepting defeat. Each day is a gift, not a burden, and how great of a gift is up to us. Our happiness is dependent not on what happens to us, but how we choose to look at life and react to obstacles. If you’re unhappy with your life right now, make the choice to have a new attitude and appreciation for life. Figure out what choices you need to make to get where you want to be, and then make them! You are the only person with any sort of control over your attitude, the choices you make, and therefore, your happiness.

            Always, Anna

             

Time, Goals, and Alter-egos

            A few weeks ago, I wrote about my week at the LEAP leadership conference and all I’d learned. I mentioned a few new skills I was excited to apply in my life, and hinted that I had some goals to reach. Most of those goals are long-term, so I don’t have anything too impressive to report yet. On the other hand, I’ll have you know I’ve been holding myself accountable for my habits and time management and I’ve been successful thus far!

            I really am awful when it comes to managing my time, and spending it wisely. The tasks that can wait I take care of right away, and the urgent ones always seem to somehow get swept under the rug…how does that happen?! I’ve always had a hard time with prioritizing. But, ladies and gents, I’m showing some serious potential and improvement already. And you can too with these simple steps!—Only joking, this isn’t an infomercial, but I do want a brag a little bit, and if you so feel inclined, maybe you’ll be inspired, if you will, as I was. Plus, school just started around here so it’s totally appropriate and completely relevant.

            That week at LEAP, some of the coaches spoke to us about time management and showed us how they manage their time. They all had schedules, to-do lists, and planners, from iPhone apps to good ol’ pens and paper. So, as they suggested, I “copied genius” as I started making lists and using my own planner this week. And I just may have gone a little overboard.

            I made a list of my short term goals, which turned into a to-do list of sorts. On another sheet of paper, I wrote two more lists: “Things That Will Help Me Achieve My Goals” and “Things That Will NOT Help Me Achieve My Goals.” The first had everything I should be doing to be on the right track. The latter had things I’m normally prone to doing, but, because they will in no way help me reach my goals or get my tasks done, I must no longer do.

            While I’ve always found planners to be extremely helpful and essential during the school year, I’ve never used one during the summer. Until, you know, today. I got out my new weekly planner and wrote down my work schedules and anything else I had going on. Most importantly, I transferred my to-do list and short-term goals as appointments I made for myself. Today, I finally did my laundry—three loads of it—because I had it written in at 12 o’clock, in between other tasks and errands I had penciled in. Some of you may laugh at the fact I had to schedule doing my laundry, but let me just ask: who’s got clean socks? And who’s laughing now? That’s right. This girl.

            I also find it helpful—and now quite automatic, habitual, and even subconscious—to write myself little comments of encouragement in my planners. I can remember doing this in third grade, when I got my first planner. I didn’t know what to write in the few lines given for “notes”, so I would mindlessly scribble phrases like “You rock!” and “You got this!” I guess it just stuck because I’ve done it on almost every page of every planner I’ve had since.

These encouragements have, over the years, developed a personality of their own—one might venture to say they’ve created an alter ego of mine? I don’t know why, but these comments have evolved into inside jokes between me and…me. You know when you find something funny, so you share it with someone else and you’re cracking yourself up while the other person stares at you blankly, not amused in the slightest? This sort of thing happens to me all too often, sadly. As a result, I have a mental collection of phrases that, for reasons unbeknownst even to me, I—and I alone—find hilarious. So I find these random catchphrases inscribed within the margins of my planners, and oddly enough, they actually do motivate me to write that paper, or study for that test, or even do my laundry! I would include some examples, but as I explained, nobody would find them amusing but me. So between the lines of my personal planner they shall stay. But trust me, they’re good. They’re real good.

Always, Anna

"We Are Family"

            We all know how much I love Christmas, and the only thing I might, sometimes, maybe love a little bit more than Christmas is family. I love my family more than I can even write, but I will give it a go this week.

            The best thing about families is that they do not have to be perfect—and none are. Every family has their quirks and craziness, because every family has different people! Just like no two people are the same, neither are the families they make up. To me, that is a very beautiful thing.

            As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I've been spending time with my family this month and it has been nothing short of absolutely, perfectly lovely and wonderful. Because they are all so amazing, this may sound like I am bragging, but I’d like to introduce you to the family I've been spending time with.

 
 First stop: California. If you've been lucky enough to meet my older sister, Lindsay, then there’s a very good chance you love her—I've yet to meet a single person who doesn't, and I truly believe it is simply impossible. My brother-in-law is famous for his laugh and sense of humor, and my only niece is famous for her beautiful, big, baby blue eyes. My youngest nephew is only about four months old, but when he smiles at you, the world pauses for the duration.

I've got my grandma, who may sound a lot like your own grandma as she bakes batches upon batches of brownies for her grandchildren whenever we visit, and never forgets a birthday. My grandpa (aka “Will Smith”) is the sweetest, most generous man I know—and if you stand in one place for more than a minute or so, he’ll come up beside you just to scratch your back. I’ve got my uncles who love hunting, building, history, and nature. Each one of my aunts is Super Woman and absolutely beautiful in every way, from the inside out. My cousins are my best friends and role models, always there to remind me who I am, who I’ve always been, and who I’ll always be. This week, I’ve been in Colorado. I got to see my oldest sister, who is my opposite in two ways: She can out-bake anyone from here to France, and is always thoughtful and considerate of everyone around her. My other brother-in-law, though he would never agree to this because he has an incredible amount of humility, is the hardest worker and

most intelligent man I’ve ever met in my life. My oldest nephew is sweeter than honey and can build just about anything out of some scotch tape and paper, while my other nephew can talk his way out of anything with his innocent laughter and impressive vocabulary.

I’m writing tonight from my aunt and uncle’s home. My uncle and I can talk for hours on end, with his wild stories and our shared in-depth insight on life and people in general. My aunt has the best style and fashion sense and shares my love for tea, candles, and angels. My other uncle, who had us over for dinner at this evening, is the most effortlessly cool, hilariously sarcastic person I know. His wife, my other aunt is the perfect balance between girly and outdoorsy, as she has literally drawers full of Bath and Body Works lotions, perfumes, etc., yet tomorrow she is hiking up a 14-mile mountain.

     It is after perfect days and weeks of family time I realize how happy it makes me. I never feel as loved as on evenings like this, spent with family who love you more than you feel you deserve, no matter what. I don’t think that warmth and bond can be found or shared anywhere else. If you have any riffs in your family, I encourage you to let go and mend anything you can. If you don’t know your family members well, take the time to get to know them—if they are anything like mine, they’ll have some pretty interesting stories if nothing else…

            Always, Anna

"What Ships Are Built For"

            Growing up, my family and I moved around a lot. I got a taste of the west coast, the east coast, and the Midwest—something I’m very grateful for now, but at the time just meant long, boring road trips and plane rides. I would hear adults say they loved traveling and I never understood that. I thought of traveling only as the transportation—the flights and airport layovers, the gas station meals and fifteen-hour drives—which I, by then, had grown to loathe.

            As a newly official adult (technically), traveling is one of my most favorite things to do! I don’t exactly get amped for a long drive or flight, but the exploration of new places I cannot get enough of. For me, there is nothing like getting lost in a country, state, or even city I’ve never been in before. It doesn’t necessarily need to be somewhere foreign—just somewhere foreign to me. It’s fascinating to observe the way other people live, whether it’s their food, activities, education systems, businesses, or entire ways of life.

            A change in scenery itself is always refreshing. No matter how many lakes you’ve been to, there is nothing quite like the waves of the open ocean. The sun doesn’t quite rise anywhere else like it does over the Great Plains. And, of course, no autumn leaves fall quite as beautifully as the east coast’s. Paintings and even photographs simply can’t do justice; you’ve just got to see those sights for yourself, in person. Mountains, oceans, badlands, deserts, valleys, jungles—all must be experienced for a true appreciation and knowledge of the earth.

            I encourage everybody to travel as much as they possibly can. You will learn and gain so much appreciation and understanding for people who live wherever you do not. There are so many places to go, people to see, as they say, and while it’s easy to say we simply can’t afford to travel, I believe we simply can’t afford not to travel. Take a walk to the other side of town, if that’s all you can do or where you feel comfortable to start with. It doesn’t matter the distance traveled, but how your view of the world can be changed no matter where it is you go.

“A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”—Grace Murray Hopper

            Always, Anna

LEAP

Life is good, guys. No—life is more than good, in fact, it’s more than great. It’s fantastic. Wonderful. Amazing. Phenomenal. Life is just one big phenomenal phenomenon. And I love it. I just absolutely positively love love LOVE life!

Recently I’ve been very blessed. I’ve spent the past week and a half in California, and have the rest of the week here as well, spending time with some of my dearest family members, which I have a feeling you’ll be hearing about next week.. Last week, I attended a leadership program called LEAP, which stands for “Leadership. Excellence. Accelerating Potential.” If you haven’t heard of it, I highly and even adamantly recommend it. Between all the organizations I was involved in all throughout junior high and high school, I’ve had a taste and definitely more than my fair share of leadership conferences. This week, though, was different.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the thing is, I’d never really been challenged. Nothing about those conferences really SPOKE to me, or made me reevaluate my life with some serious changes in mind. Those conferences never challenged or suggested I change my lifestyle, until now. LEAP did just that. Last week, I learned how to be successful, disciplined, and professional.

Sure, I had goals before—more like ideas in my mind of some things I wanted to do or achieve in both the short and long runs. But now, I have even more goals, greater ones, written down that I review every morning to keep in mind so I both consciously and subconsciously work toward them every single day. I don’t just have loose, dream-like goals anymore; I have tasks, a to-do list that I will complete.

Sure, I knew a little bit about networking. I mean, I was on the social networks. I understood that everyone in the world is connected. I never really realized, however, that with connections, you can get almost any job or meet anyone you want—if only you want it bad enough. Now, I know that I need to do a better job with keeping in touch with people, and how much it can mean on both ends, for many reasons.

And sure, I knew about time manag—oh, wait. No, no I didn’t know a thing about time management. Anybody who knows me, especially my bosses and teachers, knows how truly little I knew about the importance of time, much less how to manage it. Yikes. But the great news is, now I know what I need to do in order to schedule effectively, spend my time wisely, and make sure that I myself, in all aspects, am timely. And on time. And, you know, not fifteen minutes late for just about everything…

Most of all, though, I learned about success. I heard from so many successful people in so many different industries and professions, yet their messages were all the same: Focus, determine your own attitude, be full of gratitude, surround yourself with people you want to be like, make and reach goals, have confidence in yourself, and while you never want to compare yourself to others, make sure you are working harder than them if you are chasing after something you want more than they do. Last but not least, I learned the significance of self-talk as I repeated every morning, first to myself in the mirror and then again with five hundred others: “I am a ten. I walk like a ten. I talk like a ten. I do what I ought to do, when I ought to do it, whether I want to or not, with no debate. Because I am. A TEN!!”

Always, Anna