Lasts & Firsts

       This is my last time writing to you as a high schooler, and I really don’t know how to feel about it. I’m happy, and I’m sad, and I’m happy that I’m sad, and I’m sad that I’m happy—like I said, I really don’t know how I feel about it. All year, but especially these last few months, I’ve been having a lot of “lasts.” Last band/choir concert, last prom, last state music trip, last speech meet, last state convention, last month of high school, you know, normal stuff.  But this last week, my last full week of high school, things got out of hand. I just started putting “high school” in front of everything I was doing. I said things like, “Awwwhh, you guys, this is the last high school test I will ever bomb!!” Thank you, Physics, for making that one possible, by the way.
       A few other examples: last high school paper I wrote, last high school project I completed, last time I ate a bowl of chili in my high school cafeteria, last time Lucy and Mary asked me if I had any homework, last time I hung a jacket in my high school locker, last Friday in high school that Mr. Weisenburger told us not to do anything he wouldn’t do, last time I forgot to do my high school homework, last time I waved to my high school English teacher in the hallways after lunch, last time I walk into my high school and Ralph said, “Good morning, Anna” and I said, “Good morning, Ralph”,  last time I wore my favorite jeans walking through my high school, last time Gary told me to give a fellow high schooler “a pound”, last time I made copies in the office of my high school, last time I studied in my high school library, last time I wrote my column as a high schooler…you get the idea.
In a few days it will be my last day of high school. But after that begin the “firsts”, which are far more exciting: first graduation, first apartment, first roommate, first day of college, etc. Something about all of these events scares me just the right amount. Knowing I’m not ready is terrifying, but knowing I’m not supposed to be is oddly comforting. A friend of mine once said, “Sometimes I think about the past and miss it, but then I remember the future is right around the corner and realize it's probably way better!” I think that’s a great attitude to have. We can’t relive the past, so why not work to make our future even better? It’s bound to be, anyway.
Always, Anna