GRADUATION!!

            I think we have all had those moments when we look in the mirror and do not know how to feel about what we see. Last Sunday, I had one of the most bizarre looks in the mirror. I walked into the school’s restroom and out of the corner of my eye caught a glimpse of someone wearing all black in the mirror. I turned and found it was myself; it was me wearing the cap and gown. Me. Wearing. The cap. And gown? It wasn't until that moment it hit me that I was really graduating. Standing around in the cafeteria with my classmates before the ceremony, it just felt like a game of dress up, or practice for graduation. This time, though, it was for real.

            All month had been strange already. I had been getting graduation announcements at school and in the mail, and it was still weird every time I saw one of my classmates’ faces on one. I seriously did a double take every time I recognized a peer and was confused for a moment until I remembered, “Oh, yeah, that is my class that is graduating.” I had grown used to my class graduating, myself not included. As I looked at myself in the mirror, wearing the traditional graduation garb, I could not look away. For all you Harry Potter fans, I can explain it best like I was looking into the Mirror of Erised—which shows you with your deepest desires, even if you are not really with them. As my tassel brushed my cheek, though, my outfit was confirmed. I really was wearing that, because I really was graduating—in, like, twenty minutes!!

            I shook the weirdness and joined my classmates for pictures. Soon enough we were walking into the gym. I heard the band playing “Pomp and Circumstance” and panicked for a second before I realized this is the first year I wouldn’t play that song with them. Sitting on the stage, staring at all these people, I kept forgetting that they were staring right back at me and all my classmates. Because, you know, we were graduating and all. How could I keep forgetting this?!

            Before I knew it, I was addressing everybody for my speech. I have a habit of talking fast—especially when I’m excited. My five-minute speech was over in probably three minutes, and most people could probably hardly understand what I said, but, oh, well. It beat the dream I had the night before, in which we had gone through graduation and skipped over the part where I give my speech. I was so upset, I went around to all my classmates open houses, delivering my speech to everyone at every party. My hasty speech delivery worked out a little better than that, I think.

            At my own open house, I still kept forgetting that I was the graduate until I looked around and saw my face in pictures everywhere! Odd. I just kept sneaking up on myself as a reminder of my own graduation! The next day, I had already forgotten again until I logged onto Facebook to find that I had been tagged in pictures, and once again, there I was in that cap and gown!

            It still hasn’t hit me, and I really don’t feel any different at all. Every night, around ten, I still get that anxiety as I try to remember if I have any homework due in the morning. It is nice to remember I don’t, and won’t ever again—as far as high school goes, anyway. I honestly don’t think it will hit me until August, when I’m still here (I don’t move to college until September) and everyone else is going back to school but me. Until then, I’ll just keep racking my brain for homework assignments and continue to be confused every time I see pictures from graduation or “Congrats, grad!” cards addressed to me.

Always, Anna